Endurance in Caregiving

I read in my devotional this morning about how endurance running takes a lot of training. It was so interesting and relates directly to what you and I do on a daily basis.

The author says, you have to build up your ability to run farther and smarter with each mile logged and if you started a marathon at a sprint – unless you’re a world-class athlete – you’d peter out and never finish.

If you ever have thought caregiving is an exercise in endurance you’d be right, but it is so much more than having to train for a marathon you hope will end soon.

Be honest, I am sure there are days you want this thing called caregiving to end so you don’t have to feel so tired and so drained of energy. You long for the day when your nerves are no longer frayed and your heart no longer burdened by all the things you should have done better.

Caregiving is a slow, deliberate run over many, many days, months and sometimes years. It is hard to prepare for such a marathon of care but God has supplied us with two things that will help us to do it…Problems and Trials.

What??? Are you kidding me? Why would I ask for those when I feel like I have plenty of them already? Because, they are the best at helping us develop endurance.

You know this, the hardest part about any exercise or marathon as in this case, is always the first step. According to the Apostle Paul in Philippians 3:14, once we learn to embrace these two great teachers of endurance, the result is we develop better self-discipline and sustaining qualities to run the marathon race of caregiving and win!

These coaches of endurance impact us with essential benefits to provide the kind of caregiving that God has assigned us to administer. For instance, our hope muscles develop into having a faith that never runs out, a long-standing capacity to understand what God has in mind for us individually, that will outgrow our tendency to want to run as fast as we can in the other direction.

It is not easy to let problems and trials teach us how to be better caregivers through endurance and it is also pretty difficult and unnatural to invite various trials into our lives as James explains in James 1:3.

Yet, when we allow God to increase our faith in Him, and we open our hearts to let those things that God has sent our way to make us distance runners in our caregiving. We will in turn have built an incredible amount of at-the-ready capacity to serve Him fully, as well as your loved one and so many others.

Each morning, ask the Lord to teach you to see today’s problems and trials, as valuable spiritual coaches to help you embrace the benefits of endurance in caregiving!

Go Be Blessed,
Joan

Looking Unto the Hills

For months now I have been without a caregiver for Ron so I’ve been plugging along and our time has come to have one and all I could think of was this bible verse in Psalm 121…I look to the hills and my help cometh. I am so sorry to be so absent from all of you my blog followers and supporters but I think you can understand when you have little help available you dig in keep going and God will bless you…I am proclaiming it right now and today. Hopefully, it won’t be as long before I can write something of my own to you all. In the meantime, I found this gem and wanted to share it with you written in 1909 and is still fresh and new for us today…with God there is no element of time…His goodness was – is – and will be…Enjoy!

Looking Unto the Hills
J. R. Miller, 1909

“I lift my eyes unto the hills. Where will my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip; your Protector will not slumber. Indeed, the Protector of Israel does not slumber or sleep. The Lord protects you; the Lord is a shelter right by your side. The sun will not strike you by day or the moon by night. The Lord will protect you from all harm; He will protect your life. The Lord will protect your coming and going both now and forever.” Psalm 121

We ought to learn to look up. Many people dwarf their lives and hinder the best possibilities of growth in their souls—by looking downward. They keep their eyes ever entangled in mere earthly sights and scenes, and miss seeing the glory of the hills that pierce the clouds, and of the heavens that bend over them. We grow in the direction in which our eyes habitually turn. We become like that toward which we look much and intently.

Yet there are those who never look upward at all. They never see anything but the things that are on the earth. They never see the stars. They never think of God. They do not pray. They have no place in their scheme of life for divine things.

This is our Father’s world. He made it, he sustains it, he lives in it, all its affairs are in his hands. One of the Psalms gives us this devout thought of life: “I lift my eyes unto the hills.” It was to God, that the poet looked. The hills are a symbol of God.

The writer says also, “My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” The minuteness of the divine keeping is beautifully brought out in the Psalm. “He will not allow your foot to slip.” On mountain paths a great disaster may result from the slipping of a foot. Many a life has been lost by a misstep among the crags. But God’s keeping extends even to the feet of his children.

There is another assurance of exquisite beauty in the Psalm. No human love can watch over a friend unintermittingly. The most devoted mother sometimes sleeps by her suffering child. But there is an Eye that never closes—that always watches.

The whole Psalm shows the safety of those who lift up their eyes unto the hills. They are kept from all evil. They are guarded when they go out—and when they come in. We never can get away from the divine keeping, unless we give up God and go out into sin. The greatest mistake anyone can make—is to leave God out of his life. To those who live thoughtfully, life is full of God. Even if there were no assurances in the Bible, telling us of his love, no promises of his care, common daily providence is so full of God, that a thoughtful person could not doubt his existence or his care for his children.

God is the most real Friend in all the world, though we have never seen him. We can see his footprints everywhere. We find evidences of his love, his interest, his kindness, in people’s lives all about us. If one says he has never seen God, he has at least seen God’s faithfulness, evidences of his love, his interest. We may not hear his answer in words when we talk to him in prayer—but we see the answer in what he does to bless us.

Some time ago, two men met on a vessel crossing the Atlantic. They soon discovered that they had both been in the American Civil War, one fighting with the North, the other with the South. They discovered, too, that they had taken part, on one occasion, in the same battle. Then this incident came out, as they talked together reminiscently. One night the Northern soldier was on sentry duty on one side of a little river, and the Southern soldier was a sharpshooter just across the river, picking off soldiers on the other side at every opportunity. The sentry was singing softly, “Jesus, Lover of my Soul,” as he kept his watch, and the words of the old hymn were heard in the still night over the stream. The sharpshooter was taking aim and was about to fire on the sentry. Just then he heard the words, “Cover my defenseless head, with the shadow of your wing.” His rifle dropped—he dare not shoot a man praying that prayer. “I could as soon have shot my own mother!” he said. Was not God in this whole incident? Was he not a reality that night? We need not ask why no one has ever seen God. Lift up your eyes unto the hills in every time of need, and God will always help.

Every Christian should train himself, to always look up. Some people look down continually, watching for thorns and briars. They never see anything in life, but the unpleasant things. They are always looking for troubles. They find them, too, on the brightest days, in the loveliest places. They never see anything beautiful. But that is not the way to go through life. Lift up your eyes—and look for roses, not for thorns.

Once when a voice was speaking to Jesus, some people said it thundered, while others said an angel spoke to him. So it is always with people—some never hear anything but thunder. They think people are all like snarling wild beasts. They do not love anybody, nor trust anybody, nor care for anybody. They hear only discords, wolf-notes. They do not trust people, even the best of them. To them all men are liars, thieves, robbers. They claim that all Christians are hypocrites, all merchants dishonest, all homes bedlams, that nobody is pure, and nobody is unselfish. Can you think of any other way of making one’s life miserable, that equals this? Rather, lift up your eyes unto the hills, where the air is sweet, the light clear, the music like angels’ songs. This will change all the world for you.

Of course there are discordant notes in the music of a great city where throngs are surging all about. But why should we hear the discords—when there is so much sweet music in life to be heard everywhere? We are exhorted to overcome evil with good, bitter with sweet, sorrow with joy, hate with love. Lift up your eyes unto the hills, when you think of your own circumstances. They may not seem bright or hopeful. You hear people talk about the sore troubles they have. There always are difficulties, discouragements, disappointments, and we can easily find them when we look for them. But can you not train yourself instead—to find something good, something beautiful, something cheering, and inspiring? There always is at least a gleam of light in even the darkest night.

When the little dog, lying in the parlor upon a chilly day, saw a spot of sunshine on the floor, he was wise to leave his cold corner and go and lie down in it. His was good philosophy for a dog, and good also for a man. If there is only one spot of happiness in all your little world—find it and set your chair in it.

Some one tells of a poor crippled shoemaker who never could go out anywhere. His little shop was in the heart of the great city, with houses on all sides of the poor place where he lived, shutting out every beautiful sight, with no sky visible from his little window, with not a hint of life to be seen. But one day he discovered that from a certain place in the shop—he could catch a mere glimpse of blue sky. He set his shoemaker’s bench right there, so that while he cobbled away, he could lift up his eyes at every resting moment and see the bit of beauty. How it brightened his dreary life! There is some point in the hardest experience in your life where something of heaven may be seen. Find it and set your stool there!

“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in poverty.” Philippians 4:11-12

In one very important sense, it is true that we make our own world. The sunshine we see about us daily—is in ourselves. It shines out from within us. We are not to go about demanding that others shine on us, on our field, and on our home. We are not to blame other people—when we are peevish, fretful, discontented, or touchy.

It is usually our own fault—that we are not happy. Even if people do not treat us as they should do, if they are unjust to us, unkind, rude, selfish, exacting—that will not make it either right or beautiful for us to grow unhappy, or to go about sour and sad. We should never allow anybody, any circumstances, or anything that happens—to spoil our life. We ought to resolve to keep sweet, whatever the circumstances may be.

That is what being a Christian means. That is what it is to lift up our eyes unto the hills. If we are looking to God, we cannot do vulgar things, we cannot lie, we cannot be selfish, grasping, or greedy, whatever the provocation may be. If we truly lift up our eyes unto God, we will get something of God’s beauty into our soul, will become imbued with God’s holiness, God’s truth, God’s love, and get grace enough to enable us to live the Christlike life.

The mountains are places of strength. They cannot be moved. They are stable and sure. They are places of safety. They are away above the floods and dangers of earth. The higher our life rises, the safer it is. The power of temptation grows less and less—as we go up nearer to Christ. Our faults, infirmities, and vices—lose their power over us as we rise up into the mountain air—they will choke and die there!

It is said that telescopes have detected birds flying six miles above the earth. How safe they are up there! No arrow can reach them. No enemy can find them. The same is true of the soul that flies far above—no trapper can catch it, no tempter can reach it. The mountains are places of safety.

The mountains are places of peace. There is a point in the heavens, above the clouds, where no storm ever blows, where no tempest ever breaks. If we rise into these calm, holy heights—we shall find peace.

This dew from the sacred mountain represents the love of Christ which comes down perpetually from heaven, which not only nourishes the lives of men—but also heals all diseases.

Be Fair to Those Who Care

As with any situation, we are not a part of, sometimes we are so ready to give our opinion or advice as though we are aware of everything that a person is going through, and the truth is we aren’t!

Like in a relationship, caregiving starts out as some would say ‘the honeymoon phase’, you know, where you are ‘over the moon’ in love with this person, and we can’t do enough for them.

But of course, many of us have left that phase behind many moons ago but that doesn’t make us experts just experienced and we do have a lot to offer no question!

The problem is, we sometimes allow our experience to squelch the other caregiver’s struggle at the time, with our advice and opinion, and leave them worse off than they were before, even though it was meant well it may not have been received well.

As experienced caregivers, we need to be aware that this can happen and do our best to avoid doing it for the betterment of the other caregiver who needs our compassion, empathy and love.

I’ve been the ‘other’ caregiver as I am sure you have where there are more days that are difficult than not and I look at that front door and want to run away as fast my feet can carry me.

It is in that moment I ask myself, “But where would I go?”

There are so many circumstances that are very much like mine such as a troubled marriage, a troubled teenager, a troubled mother/daughter relationship, a troubled job situation, a troubled sibling relationship and so on and in these situations the front door calls and the same question is asked, “But where would I go?”

I know those of you who are reading this right now have felt like I have, but in your heart, you know to leave is not the answer, and to stay is the right thing to do if your heart is right with the Lord.

If you will allow me to, I would like to digress a little, and share something with you that is related to today’s post.

In the late 70’s, my faith in God and my relationship with Him, was highly developed through the songs I sang at home, in church, on the road, etc. With each one I sang, I found myself drawn closer and closer to His side because at the time He was the only One I could go to.

“Where Could I Go But To The Lord” was one I love and still love to sing because it reminds me that I am never out of options to my troublesome days and I hope you will feel the same after you read these spirit-lifting lyrics.

Where Could I Go but to the Lord

Living below in this old sinful world
Hardly a comfort can afford
Striving alone to face temptation so
Now won’t you tell me
Where could I go but to the Lord
Where could I go oh where could I go
Seeking the refuge for my soul
Needing a friend to save me in the end
Won’t you tell me
Where could I go but to the Lord
Life here is grand with friends I love so dear
Comfort I get from God’s own word
Yet when I face that chilling hand of death
Won’t you tell me
Where could I go but to the Lord
Where could I go but to the Lord
Where could I go oh where could I go
Seeking the refuge for my soul
Needing a friend to save me in the end
Won’t you tell me
Where could I go but to the Lord

Why would I write an article about being fair to the one who cares? Because sometimes in our bitterness, resentment, frustration, lack of love, etc. in our own situations, we can come across like we know it all, and the reality is what comes out of our mouth is not about them, but about us, and that is so unfair to our fellow caregivers.

So, if you find yourself in that place today please take a breath, a few of them, as many as you need, and ask the Lord to help you back away from that front door and to the place He wants you to be, caring for a loved one.

Yes, we can go back to a time when all was butterflies and rainbows where infatuation is, but if we want things to change we need the Lord, who offers us true agape love that will heal your heart and spirit and give you the ability to stay and carry on even when you don’t feel like it.

If ‘where could I go but to the Lord’ is what you are saying, please try with all your might to tell yourself, He is not a last resort to go to, but an oasis of love, peace and rest.

When someone is unfair to you as a caregiver, take a moment and think of the Lord demonstrated for you and me on the cross when He said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

He too had a choice to ‘head out the front’, if you will, and never come back but He chose the better route and that was to go to the One who understands and comforts those who love Him and with confidence He will take care of them also.

So, where are you going today?

Blessings Always,
Joan

Delicious Spiritual Bread

The other day, my sister Sue, Dad and Mom came over to play cards which we do every week as I have mentioned before and we have so much fun!

One of the highlights of the day was having my sister’s homemade banana nut bread. I say that because in my opinion she makes the best banana nut bread and it is so moist, dense and has lots of walnuts in it.

Today, I want to talk about a different kind of bread, we need to have every day, in order to be successful in this very important job God has chosen for us to do.

So, let’s start with reading the recipe for this special, unique and spiritually delicious, if I might add, kind of daily bread…

“When we reach the end of everything we know, that is when God rolls up His sleeves and does His best work in our lives. He waits until we are finished rolling our problems around like dough, pounding away until there is nothing left to be done.

When we hand our mess over to Him with humble and sticky fingers, He takes it all and transforms it into a kind of bread that nourishes us.

There is a story about orphaned children during WWII who were left homeless and starving. Once rescued, they had trouble sleeping at night out of fear that they would wake in the morning and be hungry again.

After all attempts were made to ease their fears, someone came up with the idea of giving each child a piece of bread to hold during the night. The children slept peacefully, holding their bread.

We can take a lesson from those children and hold our bread as a symbol that God was with us today and He will be with us again tomorrow.

The art of spiritual bread making requires a deep patience that allows obstacles to rest, quietly covered in His grace so that they can rise into opportunities that give us strength. He works in miracles – turning even our most difficult ordeals into blessings that can heal us.”

In my opinion, after thirty-five plus years of caregiving, there is no other way to survive long-term caregiving without partaking in this spiritual nourishment. Keeping our hearts and souls with God’s Presence will help to carry us and sustain us, through those very difficult days so we can truly enjoy the good and pleasant ones.

If you thirst, He will provide the cool water of refreshment. If you are hungry He will provide the bread of contentment. If you need a renewal of sweetness, He will provide the dessert of blissful peace. The only thing we have to do is come to the table every day and He will meet us there with all the spiritual sustenance you need.

On those days when you are so tired, worn out to a frazil, and your stomach is filled with frustration and anger, try to reflect on those little orphan children, who surrendered their fear of going hungry to a measly piece of bread that provided them with the peace of a good night’s rest.

As Christians, you have already been rescued by the Grace of God. If you want to live peacefully inside and out you will need to wash up your sticky hands of resistance and allow your heavenly Father who loves you beyond your own understanding of Him, to give you (your) daily spiritual bread, freshly baked, and right from the ovens of heaven.

It’s time for me to go and have some of that delicious spiritual bread I’ve been smelling all morning…let’s think of each other while we partake shall we?

Have a blessed day and I’ll see you next time,
Joan Reilly

Where Have You Been?

Years ago, Kathy Mattea made famous one of the most beautiful songs ever written about an elderly couple who still loved and miss each other after 60 years of marriage. The song goes like this…

Where Have You Been?

Claire had all but given up
When she and Edwin fell in love
She touched his face and shook her head
In disbelief she sighed and said
In many dreams I’ve held you near
Now at last you’re really here

Chorus
Where have you been?
I’ve looked for you forever and a day
Where have you been?
I’m just not myself when you’re away

He asked her for her hand for life
Then she became a salesman’s wife
He was home each night by 8
But one stormy evening he was late
Her frightened tears fell to the floor
Until his key turned in the door

They’d never spent a night apart
For 60 yrs. she heard him snore
Now they’re in a hospital
In separate beds on different floors

Claire soon lost her memory, forgot the names of family
She never spoke a word again
Then one day they wheeled him in
He held her hand and stroked her hair
In a fragile voice she said

Chorus

Where have you been
I’ve looked for you forever and a day
Where have you been
I’m just not myself when your away
I’m just not myself when your away
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I can almost guarantee that some of you have been wondering the same thing about me and have been missing my blog messages! Well, it’s been a rough couple of months but my husband and I have weathered it together and I’m back but will only be able to post once a month but I promise it will be worth the wait.

The condensed version of ‘where I’ve been’ so you will no longer be wondering is after two trips to the hospital and a week’s stay at a transitional care center the doctor’s discovered that my husband has an irregular heartbeat which caused him to have symptoms similar to a major anxiety attack.

In the years past, he has had the typical heart tests; angiograms, etc. but they never showed a thing so we chopped it up to anxiety and carried on. The one thing that showed this irregular heartbeat this time was a simple blood test which I have since learned that it is the only way they can detect this malfunction of the heart.

As a result, Ron now takes a beta blocker and has not suffered any of those symptoms since he started taking it. So, word to the wise, if your loved one is experiencing these types of symptoms ask to have a blood test taken to check for irregular heartbeat it will change their life as well as yours!

In the meantime, Ron’s caregiver was unable to come throughout that time (months) because her mother, the doctors discovered, had a hole in the back of her heart.

After weeks had gone by, and the diagnosis given, she finally had the surgery to repair this. Then she had to be monitored 24/7 because her blood pressure would drop to very dangerous levels (which did happen) a normal reaction to the surgery but would go away during her recovery. Jennifer,our sweet and loving caregiver had to pick up this care and was unable to come to be with us.

Her mother is definitely on the mend and she will be back with us soon. In fact, she will come in to care for Ron’s personal needs while I get away for a weekend with my sister and a friend to visit my daughter and her husband in South Carolina and I am so looking forward to this!

My other sister will be staying 24/7 with Ron and what a blessing it is to be able to go and know she will be here with him. I would really appreciate prayers that this will all go as planned, well as close as possible anyway. (:

So, that’s the scoop of ‘where I’ve been’ and I look forward to being with you next time!

Blessings Always,
Joan

Getaway Mishaps

This is a repost from two years ago…I hope you enjoy reading it again!

In a few days, I leave for the beach for a much awaited and much needed respite from my daily caregiving. I’ve been busy with all the extra things I’ve got to put in place in order for me to leave for a week and let everything I do on a daily basis go.

Thankfully, Ron’s regular caregiver is able to cover the day hours and some really sweet and giving friends are willing to stay here with Ron during the night hours.

These two things are the most vital part of my getting away and getting the rest I need with a free mind to do so. Then there is the meal planning, emergency phone numbers, Ron’s care list, etc. you know what I’m talking about…you don’t exhale till you are on the road to ‘respiteville’!
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September 1980
Even though on the day of our wedding, I became a wife and instant caregiver to my husband and Ron became a husband and an instant father figure to my children, all we could think about was starting our new life altogether.
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Present Day
You see, I was married only a few short years and during those years we were blessed with two beautiful children; our son Greg and our daughter Kim, born fifteen months apart. When Kim, our youngest, was only ten months old our marriage ended in divorce after many times of trying to make it work.

After the divorce, the kids and I lived with my parents in Massachusetts for a short time and it was during this time my sister introduced me to the Lord. I have to be honest I thought she was a religious fanatic and told her so but she hung in there and I am incredibly thankful that she did!

In December of 1978, I was baptized into Christ in a watering trough of all things (illustrating my humble beginnings as a Christian), because a freezing cold lake at that time in New England was out of the question…thank you Lord!

At that time, I was seeing a counselor who told me that a divorce person will do one of two things; they either find religion or their life begins to spiral and become completely out of control.

He said that he was happy that I chose the former and not the latter and that I had a good chance of overcoming the pain of divorce and be able to make it on my own as a single mom. I was very encouraged by his words and they proved to be right!

I’ve heard it said that children are like sponges…they soak up everything we say and do and a babe-in Christ is by no means an exception. I often think of this when someone comes to Christ and how important it is for each of us to live a genuine and sincere Christian life that is worth ‘soaking up’ to!

Well, like a sponge I ‘soaked’ up every book on Christian living I could put my hands on. I found something really good, becoming a Christian, and I wanted all of it but I knew I had to do some reconciling with my former husband before I could have it.

The Kids and I moved back up to New Hampshire to see if my marriage with their father could be repaired. Having found the Lord and knowing what he expected of me things had changed in me that my former husband didn’t understand and refused to even try.

He told me that he would never marry me again and that he wanted to just live together. When I told him that I would not do that in order for us to be a family again, we would have to be married and not just live together.

Well, he was not having any of that and so he left.

This was my first very difficult decision to make as a Christian and I was aware of the fallout for my children, although not to the extent it would be in the years to come.

It was a time I had to decide to put God first and others second and believe that He would take care of the rest…and He did…but more on that in future blogs.
“““““““““`
September 1980
It is a beautiful autumn day in Maine and perfect for an outside wedding. The sun is shining and the wind is blowing across the field, as Dad and I make our way to where my soon to be husband waits…today is my wedding day!

He is standing there wearing that ‘foolish grin’ like the song says in “Chances Are” and with his eyes connecting with mine, those anxious and excited butterflies in my stomach are going berserk for today our love for each other is outshining the sun!
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Present Day
But that love would be severely tested over and over in the years ahead but we were not thinking about all of that as we said the words “I do” to each other.

In the days, weeks and years ahead we would have to remind ourselves that “I do” the Phileo and emotional love would become more of the “I will” the Agape and sacrificial love…but a true love!
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September 1980
Traditionally, the wedding guests would do all kinds of crazy things to the vehicle you planned to take with you on your honeymoon. But we planned to outsmart them all and take the vehicle waiting at my apartment.

So, waving goodbye with our inward grins we headed back to the apartment and to our chagrin that vehicle wouldn’t start and we had to bother a ‘cranky’ neighbor to give us a jumpstart!

To top it all, the first thing we had to do the morning after our wedding night, was to go out and buy a battery for the ‘getaway’ car which ate up quite a bit of the money we received as wedding gifts…you can be sure our grins were fading!
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Present Day
When we got married we were not thinking about mishaps that could happen. All we saw was wedding bliss for the rest of our lives but more of that next week so if you are enjoying my caregiver life story you will want to come back to hear more…!

Have a wonderful week in the Lord and I will be writing to you from a condo balcony looking out at the emerald green waves and feeling the ocean breeze across my face…are you jealous…I don’t blame you one bit…see you then!

Blessings Always,
Joan

Copyright © 2014 by Joan Reilly
All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced or
transmitted in any form or by any means without written
permission of the author.

Blessings of Reconciliation

Winter of 1978 ~
A friend of mine asked me to visit and attend Sunday morning church services at a little country church in Standish, Maine.

I was a brand new babe-in-Christ and was so excited to meet more Christians and so off we went.

Upon arriving, my friend introduced to me to a small group of people. To this day, I cannot remember who the other people were…I only remember meeting Ron!

It was without a doubt, ‘love at first sight’ and I’m not kidding. He touched my soul with his beautiful blue eyes and my heart took flight into the land of love never to return again.

Ron’s story is… “I remember thinking out of all the girls I’ve been introduced to when I met you something clicked.”

Then to my incredible surprise I looked up and there was Ron behind the pulpit getting ready to preach the sermon. I held my breath, for who knows how long, thinking he was a preacher and I was going to hear him preach!

I’ve heard Ron preach many sermons but I have never forgotten that first one on the message of being reconciled to Christ in 2 Cor. 5:11-22.
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Present Day~
This morning I woke up completely done in by exhaustion. Wouldn’t you know it, my computer was acting weird and I lost all of my documents and I was pretty upset to say the least.

After many hours of trying to retrieve my documents, I ‘reconciled’ myself to the fact that they were gone and I could do nothing about it.

Then a thought popped in my head. (You and I know where that came from.) I could weave snippets of my caregiving life story into life application articles.

Months before I started my blog I kept searching for a way to do this but nothing would come to mind so as you know I started with the book, “Ambushed by Grace” by Shelly Beach.

I do hope you have picked up this book and it has been a help to you and your caregiving. As I’ve mentioned before it changed my caregiving life because it help to change my attitude about my caregiving!

Thirty-three years of caregiving holds a lot of stories needing to be told that can help and assist you on your own caregiving journey. I am excited about this and I hope you are too!

Like what happened with my computer glitch there are many things in life that reveal to us the blessings of being reconciled to them. It has never failed, every time it happens to me God delivers something beyond what I had in mind.

Reconciliation is a form of surrendering your way to someone or something else. When you reach this point of surrendering there is a liberation that takes place that clears away the ‘cob webs’ that derail your intentions.

As in caregiving, reconciliation comes in many different packages, and we need to be aware and prepared for it in the many different caregiving circumstances.

If we are truly reconciled to Christ, and we should be as Christian women caregivers, then we have the divine opportunity to show others how blessed they can be as well through their reconciliation with Christ.
—————————————————————————–
Winter of 1978 ~
As Ron walked away from the pulpit I noticed that he had trouble keeping his balance and wondered if he was okay.

So, on the way home I asked my friend about this and that was when I first knew he had a disability that affected his balance, speech and coordination.
—————————————————————————–
Present Day~
Over the years, Ron has shown me and so many others what it is like to be truly reconciled to Christ. Even though extremely difficult, little by little he continues to hand his life over to God and let Him direct it in the way he should go.

Not too many of us would be that willing to let go and let God!

I admire, and appreciate the strength he has to carry on regardless of how much he wishes it could be different. How he has grown to accept it and recognize where that strength comes from and to enjoy the Blessings of Reconciliation.
—————————————————————————–
Winter of 1978 ~
A few months later, Ron called me up and asked if I would be interested in typing up his final thesis before graduating from the University of Maine. His clever way for us to get to know each other…and it worked!

So, back in the day of manual typewriters and lots of white out we worked on his thesis and also on getting to know each other…and it was a wonderful prelude to our long and very blessed life together.

But, you’ll have to come back next Tuesday to hear more about that!
—————————————————————————-
Blessings,
Joan

Copyright © 2014 by Joan Reilly
All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced or
transmitted in any form or by any means without written
permission of the author.

Adversity ~ Let’s Face It!

Recently, I was thinking of the different ways we react to adversity in our lives. Some of us bend over and let it beat us down making us look like a question mark. (?) Some of us stand strong and tall against it looking more like an exclamation point. (!) And then sadly, there are some of us who end up looking like both at one time or another.

How would you say other define your life? Like this (?) or like this (!) Is it obvious even to you which one you really are? To find the answer to these questions take a minute and consider even more important questions.

As a Christian, are you really confident in the God you serve or do you question Him at every turn? How is your witness for Him? Do those who don’t know Christ get the feeling you know Him very well either? Or do they draw strength from because you have shown them over and over the Almighty One from who you draw strength from?

Just this morning, while ready the Bible, I found a great passage showing how Peter and John chose to be an exclamation point (!) when adversity came to call.

In Acts 4:19-20 Peter and John had been apprehended and are standing before the whole Jewish council in Jerusalem. They are being told (actually threatened) to stop talking about Jesus and amazingly, listen to what they say to their adversaries, “Do you think God wants us to obey you or to obey Him? We cannot be quiet about what we have seen and heard.” (!)

Even though Peter and John face imprisonment and possibly death, they spoke not from their own strength, but from God’s mighty and powerful strength that dwelt within them.

Coincidentally, (although I think it was divinely meant), just after I read this passage of Scripture I read a story from Joel Osteen’s book, “Your Best Life Now”, illustrating a (?) life while in the throes of adversity.

“Growing up, my family had a dog named Scooter. He was a great big German shepherd, and he was the king of the neighborhood. Scooter was strong and fast, always chasing squirrels here and there, always on the go. Everybody knew not to mess with Scooter.

One day my Dad was riding his bicycle and Scooter was bounding along beside him. Daddy looked over at Scooter and smiled. He was so proud of that dog. He could see Scooter’s muscles rippling as he ran; he looked as though he could fight a tiger.

But about that time, a tiny Chihuahua came yelping out of one of the homes, about thirty or forty yards in front of them. That spunky Chihuahua raced toward Scooter, barking up a storm.

Daddy thought at the time, you poor little dog. You are messing with the wrong dog. Scooter could put one paw on you, and you’d be a goner! But that little dog kept coming with full force, barking at the top of his lungs. Daddy was concerned that Scooter was just going to tear him up.

But much to Dad’s surprise, the closer that little dog got to Scooter, the more Scooter began to hand his head like a coward. When that little dog finally got face-to-face with Scooter, Scooter just laid down on the ground, rolled over, and put all four paws up in the air! Apparently, Scooter was not nearly as big on the inside as he was on the outside.”
“Your Best Life Now” by Joel Osteen

Even though we have all of God’s resources at our disposal, when adversity comes barking, too often we just back down, roll over, and let the one with the loudest voice and the most annoying personality take control.

We have the most powerful force in the universe inside of us. We are filled with God’s can-do power. We are made to be more than conquerors. But too often, just like Scooter, when trouble comes, we back down and don’t use what God has given us. We just give up and say, ‘Can’t do this. It’s too tough for me.’

Peter and John showed their adversaries how big God is on the inside as well as on the outside. You and I ‘can-do’ this too! We have all the power we need to stand strong and fight our adversaries. God has destined us to live in victory as Christian women caregivers, but we need to do our part, and we can!

So, next time adversity comes to knock you off your feet, stop for a minute and say to yourself, “I will not be a question mark (?), like Scooter, I am going to be an exclamation point (!) like Peter and John!”

Blessings Always,
Joan

P.S. Sorry to be so long in posting something for you! My husband has been in the hospital and then in a transitional care center to recover and be strong enough to come home. He is finally home and we both are so glad that he is! Things are beginning to get back together. I hope you enjoyed this repost article!

Copyright © 2014 by Joan Reilly
All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced or
transmitted in any form or by any means without written
permission of the author.

Peaceful Sailing

When you are surrounded by a sea of problems you are face to face with God. Who is your Peace. When treacherous waves are seen in the distance, fix your eyes on Him, the One who never changes. By the time those waves reach you, they will have shrunk to proportions of His design. He is here to help you face today’s waves.” ~Sarah Young

It’s the funniest thing when God makes something ‘unbelievable’ happen in our life, we shake our heads and say, “I can’t believe it!” We are totally taken back by the miracle that has just happened to us.

When you really think about it, isn’t it kind of silly for a Christian to utter such words when we believe with everything in us that God can do anything for us that will better our walk with Him.

And yet, in our darkest hours our weakening faith cries out, “Where are you God? Do you even care about what I am going through? Why aren’t you here…I really need you right now!”

Then before we know it God is blessing us in ways we never imagined and we are completely speechless and in awe of Him.

Did you know that God is in the business of giving us immense comfort and turning our enormous sorrows into monumental joys? That’s right, in John 16:17-24 Jesus is telling the apostles that He is leaving them for a little while to go to the Father and they are filled with despair over this.

Jesus goes on to tell them that the anguish they are feeling now, very soon will be turned into tremendous joy. “…I tell you the truth; you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy…” (John 16:20)

But, how do we get from anguish to joy? How can we find hope in a seemingly hopeless situation? The apostle Paul explains how we can find hope in Romans 15:13, “God will help you overflow with hope in him through the Holy Spirit’s power within you.” How often do you remind yourself that you carry within you the greatest power that ever was, is and always will be?

I believe that we don’t remind ourselves often enough and that is why we find ourselves asking the question, “Where is God in all of this?” And to make matters worse we are so surprised when God does amazing things to straighten out our problems.

I also believe that our faith fails us because we stop listening to Him and start “leaning on our own understanding” of things. Once we begin to lean on His understanding we quickly see that our anguish of heart dwindles and our hopes begin to soar!

Take a minute and read Proverbs 3:1-35 it will completely change the way you look at all your troubles. As we draw near to Him through the Holy Spirit, who is able to remind us that times are not going to be easy, but these difficult times make the Day of the Lord sweeter by the day, the hour, and the minute.

Even though 2 Peter 3:1-18 holds a lot of gloom and doom it is also filled with lots of encouragement for the believer! I really encourage you to read this passage too!

Our troubles can be turned into joys by truly turning them over to God and leaving them with Him. Once we leave our troubles there with Him, we are then able to walk onward by His Grace as growing and maturing Christians.

Recently, I read a fable about a boy who lived with his father in a valley at the base of a large dam that illustrates this point quite well.

“Every day the father would go to work on the mountain behind their house and return home with a wheelbarrow full of dirt and would say to his son, ‘Pour the dirt in the sacks, son and stack them in front of the house.’

The boy would obey but he also complained every day as he‘d bring the load. Every day the boy would fill the bags. ‘Stack them as high as you can,’ the father would say as he went for more.

And so the boy filled the bags and pilled them high. So high he couldn’t see over them. ‘Work hard, son,’ the father said one day. ‘We’re running out of time.’

As the father spoke, he looked at the darkening sky. The boy stared at the clouds and turned to ask about them, but when he did, the thunder cracked and the sky opened. The rain poured so hard he could scarcely see his father through the water. ‘Keep stacking, son!’ the father shouted.

And as he did, the boy heard a mighty crash. The water of the river poured through the dam and toward the little village. In a moment the tide swept everything in its path, but the dike of dirt gave the boy and the father the time they needed.

‘Hurry, son. Follow me.’ They ran to the side of the mountain behind their house and into a tunnel. In a matter of minutes they exited the other side and scampered up the hill and came upon a cottage. ‘We’ll be safe here,’ the father said to the boy.

Only then did the son realize what the father had done. He had burrowed an exit. Rather than give him what he wanted, the father gave him what he needed. He gave him a safe passage and a safe place.”

So, when we are up to our necks in ‘water’ and looking for a safe passage through the trouble, it can only be through the precious love and patience of our Lord that we will find what we need and not just what we want.

Once we believe and trust that God provides us with a passage of escape from this hectic and chaotic world of caregiving, by bringing us into a quiet place of safety, we will be able to enjoy some very Peaceful Sailing!

Blessings Always,
Joan

Copyright © 2014 by Joan Reilly
All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced or
transmitted in any form or by any means without written
permission of the author.

The King’s Daughter

I was at the Knoxville VA Clinic waiting for my appointment when I started conversing with a lady who sat next to me in the waiting area. We talked about a number of things and before long we had shared our faith in God with each other.

“I don’t know how people do life without Christ,” she said and I replied, “I too have often wondered the same thing. Life is just too hard sometimes.”

Then she told me that her husband had died ten years ago and my husband Ron reminded her of him with his kind spirit and pleasant manner. She continued to say that her two grown sons were recently diagnosed with kidney failure due to diabetes and on dialysis three times a week. She finished her story with through it all she has always found her faith in God to be her strength.

I felt encouraged by her words because I too have experienced the same thing many times as well. Friendly and without hesitating she said she also found comfort writing poetry about her faith and her relationship with God.

So, I asked her if she had any of her poems published and she did in 1980, ‘The King’s Daughter’. After telling me a little about the poem I said that I would really love to read it and would look for it on the internet.

While writing the name of the poem on a piece of paper she offered to mail me a copy if I would give her my address. I was thrilled that this sweet lady would do that and I thanked her for being so kind and gracious toward me.

Sure enough, a few days later the poem arrived with a note attached to it saying, “It’s a joy to share, ‘The King’s Daughter’ with you. I hope you remember this any time you need encouragement….doubt floats on a cloud. Faith soars with the eagles.”

That day, in the midst of a crowded waiting room, sat an angel of a woman with her own passel of troubles, was encouraging me. Every time I think of this I am reminded of the Scripture in Hebrews 13:3 “Forget not to show love unto strangers; for thereby some have entertained angles unawares.”

She did not know and I had not revealed to her that I was struggling inside filled with feelings of insignificance and unimportance. Completely overwhelmed by my caregiving responsibilities and neglecting my own emotional, spiritual and physical being.

It was really uncanny but then why are we always so surprised when these things happen? It would make sense if I was not a believer and doing life all on my own but I am a believer and that explains a lot of why it did happen!

This lovely lady was there to remind me again that I am the King’s daughter and I am very important to Him and by no means insignificant for He says in His Word, “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.” (Matthew 10:29)

Here is her poem….enjoy!

The King’s Daughter
My mind is made up; I’m not a martyr,
I bear a smile for I’m the King’s daughter.
There is no need to frown, just stand tall and smile.
My mind is made up to go that extra mile.

So why make it hard when it can be easy,
Just face up to facts you’ve got to be busy.
You must fight a battle along this good way,
But the battle is won, so just fight on and say;

I’ve already won I’ll go all the way.
No sad face for me for don’t you see,
Living for Jesus won’t make me a martyr,
I’m only one, one of the King’s daughters.

The devil may roar, he may try hard to win,
But by praying I stay just ahead of him.

When he thinks he has trapped me, I just look up and grin,
For I know One is watching, who has power over sin.

When I fall to my knees, the prince of the air takes his flight.
And I go on my way to fight the good fight.

He can’t overcome me, for the King gave the order,
The King is my Father, and I am His daughter.

Nancy Baker Foster
Copyright-1980

Ms. Foster was at the VA clinic that day for more than her son’s medical appointment. She had a divine appointment with me to snatch my faith off of that cloud of doubt and blew it high above the earth to soar with the eagles…all while being covered up by her own troubles…amazing!

She ended her note by saying, “I enjoyed talking with you at the VA today. My son got a good report on his eye test…trust your husband did also. May God bless you as you care for him. It’s a joy to share The King’s Daughter with you.”

And now I want to end today’s post by saying that it is a joy for me to share my story and Ms. Foster’s beautiful poem The King’s Daughter with you!

***********************************************

A Note to you!

Life has been grabbing me on every side lately and I feel badly that I haven’t been able to find the time to write a post for you all!

And then I thought, instead of not posting anything, to repost some of the ones I wrote three years ago. For some of you, they will be brand new and familiar to those of you who have been with me from the beginning to which I am honored.

In the meantime, when I get a break I will add new posts in between these gems of encouragement. Thank you so much for your patience and your understanding!

I’ll See you next week!

Blessings Always,
Joan

Copyright © 2016 by Joan Reilly
All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced or
transmitted in any form or by any means without written
permission of the author.